We all have those moments where we think if we agree to one more thing, or get one more backhanded compliment, we’re going to lose it. I know some people who spent their college years developing five year plans and ten year plans and I know people who haven’t. Either way, when those five years go by and you’re not where you thought you’d be, you’ve somehow managed to convince yourself that you’re a failure. Don’t give up all hope, you’re having your first “crisis.” Take it as a blessing. You’ve experienced enough in your life professionally and personally to get to this point.
As uncomfortable as it may be, you are at a crossroads and, while it may not feel like it, you have all the power to try to change your life for the better or stay stuck in the middle. We all hit a moment in our mid-twenties when we realize “Oh Shit” this is adulting. You’re left wondering, “Is this really what I’m supposed to be doing for the rest of my life?” My O.S. moment came the day after I turned 26 last year, about a year after I made my first big move to live on my own and relocate for a new job. I had a moment one day where I thought, “So, this is the rest of my life? A desk. An office. This chair. This is what people do?”
I’m here today to tell you that it is completely okay for you to have these moments of panic. It actually couldn’t be more natural. Honestly, it couldn’t be more of a wake up call either. The universe is saying to you, “Don’t give up. Don’t lose hope. This is not all there is.”
Speaking from experience, I felt scared during my moment, but later, I felt thankful that I was aware enough of my own reality to realize that I wasn’t just going to let myself wilt and wither. Even with a big girl job I was still going to work towards unlocking my potential and putting myself first. This was just about when B3 blossomed. I had kept my beautiful beast of an idea in captivity for far too long, so I set it free and shared it with the world. It was the best move I ever made. These five steps helped me get there.
When you hit your O.S. moment, give these a try:
- Pat yourself on the damn back. Say, “Congratulations! You’re not made of stone, you’re a living, breathing, human being with needs, desires and dreams.” You’re aware. That in and of itself is a HUGE and difficult feat so, way to go. Acknowledge yourself.
- Focus on Finding Potential and not on finding a passion. What is it that you really enjoy? DO THOSE THINGS. You’re not sure? Pique your curiosity. Explore all that is around you.
- Open yourself up and dig into your Creative Mindset. You’ll also find this to be an ideal time for Mapping Your Creative Mindset.
- Communicate. With yourself and others. Develop and strengthen your support system. You may be living your life for you but you definitely don’t have to do it alone.
- Do not give up. Quitting ain’t in the cards for you, B.
There is no other way to live your life than to live it for you. That doesn’t mean you’re egotistical or that you don’t care about others. It means that this chance you’ve been given to live life to its fullest is just as much yours as it is for all those around you who have been given the same. It’s like when you’re on a plane and the flight crew goes through the safety routine before takeoff. They get to the part about the oxygen masks…”Please place the mask over your nose and mouth before assisting others.” For the longest time I would always think to myself, what jerk of a person would help themselves before helping someone else? Then I realized, if you don’t take care of yourself first, especially in trying times, you’ll never be capable of helping others. An analogy that sounds a bit dramatic, but one that may help put your instances of sheer panic into perspective.
So, when you feel like your world is crashing down, let yourself breathe. Take a step back, maintain control, commit to yourself first and always remember…
a setback is a setup for a comeback.
Share your stories and thoughts in the comments. I love hearing from you, Bs!
**The original author of the above quote is unconfirmed. It is not mine, but it is one of my favorites.**